The first video was about attachment and bonding. It was interesting and informative because we will be going through that soon, I hope. I do pray that our kids will bond with our family quickly and without much trouble. But, I would be silly to think there would not be some struggle in the process. On the video they make you take an "adult attachment" quiz. I praise the Lord for my mom who loves me the way she does and therefore I don't have a problem with attachment. And I think my kids have a very healthy love in our home already.
So, the six things they said to watch out for are: 1)fails to make eye contact, 2) may be stiff when you hold them, 3) very friendly to strangers, 4)doesn't ask for help or comfort, 5) has an increased tolerance for pain (because there is not anyone to run to when they get hurt), and 6) may be unkind to animals (because they don't have pets, they only have watch dogs that are mean).
Now I will explain some of the culture differences that explain the above a little more.
1) Faith and Family are key to them. They are very traditional in everything they do. The family is very close-knit and extended family and/or even other families live together in one space.
2) Respect and Humility - they are taught to be very respectful to the elders and really anyone. They would never interrupt a conversation between two adults. (imagine that) With the elderly they bow and shake hands and with friends (either gender) they give four kisses per check. They will not give you eye contact because it is considered disrespectful to look into someones eyes.
3) The gender roles are different. The man is the dominant bread winner and would never be caught doing any house hold chores. (So, if I get a boy I have some teaching to do :)
4) They don't date, ever. Most marriages are arranged. I am for that!
5) Religion - they are very religious and may attend church daily. They fast often. They are either Christian or Muslim.
6) Race and Color - they do not see themselves as inferior in any way. They wouldn't understand any racial issues we have here in America.
7) They are used to a structured life-style. They want guidelines.
8) Hair and Skin care - they need a moisturizing shampoo but only about once a week. Braids are best for the girls when they are little. They will need education on brushing teeth and proper hygiene.
9) Safety - they are not used to the things we have in our home like ovens, irons, etc. that could harm them. So we need to teach all of that right away. And they don't know a stranger, so we need to teach "stranger rules" right away. And they don't know boundaries. They would wonder off and come back when they are ready. That could cause some stress on us.
10) And the last for now...Food - that is a big change for them. They have very spicy food and a totally different texture. They also use their hands to eat. We have already experienced the food when we went to the Ethiopian restaurant in OK City this summer. It's "different", but I did eat it. It is an acquired taste for sure. Looks yummy, huh!!!
Well, there is so much more to learn. We are learning as we sit and wait on our phone call from Gladney. Wait, wait, and wait some more. We have a lot of waiting to do since we are only 2 months into the waiting process.
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